Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize