He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize