i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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