Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
