how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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