Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
