you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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