it wasn't lemon gatorade
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
