my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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