i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
