But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
