I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
