I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
