No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
