Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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