Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
