"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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