Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
