Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
