How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
