Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
