Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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