the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
