I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
