Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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