So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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