I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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