how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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