y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
