I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
