last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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