Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
