I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
