Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Randomize
