the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
His hands were made for my vagina.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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