Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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