is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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