pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize