Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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