this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize