just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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