ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
