If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
