I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
