i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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