I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She bit a glass in half.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
