you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
