My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize