google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
