I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
