im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
