Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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