i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
