im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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