I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Mom said you looked used
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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