i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
