Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I understand Curling. That high.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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