Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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