This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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